my favorite job.

February 2, 2009
the final frontier.

the final frontier.

recently i was compelled to fill out the now infamous “25 facts about you” survey that has been making the rounds on facebook.  dorkish, i know… but front like a few of you reading this blog have not done the same.

in the process of writing 25 inane facts about myself, i conjured from my past the memory of my favorite employer.  here is a little known jayare fact:  back in ‘99 i was a tour guide at the american museum of natural history in NYC.

badass.

badass.

after mentioning this fact in the survey, the details about my job came flooding back during a phone call with a friend.  i recalled standing beneath life-sized animal dioramas of kodiak bears, giraffes, lions, elephants, and giant blue whales.  there were the tour groups of awestruck elementary school kids enjoying the sights and sounds while on a field trip.   the larger than life t-rex fossils frozen in perpetual combat with the bones of a triceratops.  the surreal environment of the live butterfly conservatory (where i enjoyed star-fucking madonna and dan rather).  but most of all, i LOVED working at the newly opened rose center planetarium.

words cannot express how awe inspiring that building is.  although this video is “rad” (hi sunshine!) it still does the space theater no justice:

a building completely fueled by nerd power… i was in heaven.  add to this the fact that i was still a major league burnout who dug shiny, glowing things and you see why i appreciated working at the museum.   sure, the pay was for shit and commuting to west 79th street from the northeast bronx was a pain in the ‘nads.  but at the end of the day i relished every moment.

so… there’s my favorite work experience.  please tell me about yours, and why it was so special.


leguizamo is a freak.

February 1, 2009
feliz navidad!  no, wait...

feliz navidad! no, wait...

special shout out to my homegirl saucy z on her birthday.  despite the fact that she has recently referred to me as “the brother my mother aborted…” i have decided to present her with a gift today.

no, not a gift i actually had to pay for.  c’mon… lets be real.

saucy z, my little chicago rican friend with the big personality (or personalities)… the gift i have for you is the gift of laughter.  as we all know, john leguizamo is the comedic buddha of the latino people.   his hbo special “freak” is our i-ching.  because i know zoe is down for a good laugh, here is youtube goodness of the entire hbo special.  enjoy!


addict mix #18.

February 1, 2009

i understand why you canceled your HBO subscription.

the sopranos ended abruptly and awfully.  the wire ended abruptly and triumphantly.  it’s been a million years since there was a new episode of curb your enthusiasm.  it’s been even longer since there was a GREAT episode of entourage (if ari gold wasn’t on that show, would anyone watch it?).   hbo has fallen off, so if you’ve cut back on that luxury in order to pay for more important things, such as internet porn, i absolutely get it.

unfortunately… you’re going to have to pony up the dough and resubscribe.

if you don’t resubscribe to HBO, at the very least you’re going to have to start pirating and/or watching online video of the show “flight of the conchords.”  it’s only season two, so catching up shouldn’t be an issue.  if dry absurd humor isn’t your bag (and if it isn’t you’re definitely on the wrong website), then you should at least check out the show for the music.  the songs were meant to be comedic… but ultimately are infectuous and damed good.

flight of the conchords lead off the latest consumption addict mix.  check out their new hilarity “sugar lumps,” as well as 12 other tracks that are less amusing but thoroughly enjoyable.  preview them on my imeem playlist page and/or download them at this link.

******

track list

flight of the conchords / sugar lumps
n.a.s.a / samba soul ft. del & dj q-bert
zion i / dj dj
terminator x / run that go-power thang ft. spacey b. experience
liquid liquid / carven
of montreal / gallery piece (jon brion remix)
ryan leslie / you’re fly
pharrell / paris, tokyo (remix) ft. lupe fiasco & q-tip
camp lo / double doors
raekwon / criminology 2 ft. ghostface
MF DOOM / ballskin
n.a.s.a. / whachadoin? ft. spank rock, m.i.a., santogold, & nick zinner
james white & the blacks / sax maniac

******

if you feel compelled to actually BUY music this month, might i suggest picking up this record:

N.A.S.A. – Spirit of Apollo

n.a.s.a. - spirit of apollo

n.a.s.a. - spirit of apollo

What makes this record purchase worthy?  how about owning a record that includes absurd collaborations from people like:  method man, kanye west, david byrne, john frusciante, m.i.a., santogold, chuck d, kool keith, krs one, the pharcyde, del, E-40, ghostface, scarface, george clinton, dj q-bert, and the rza.  jesus, that’s an impressive lineup.  the songs usually don’t disappoint, either.  check out this record.


sometimes i creep myself out.

January 28, 2009


i’m a creep.  i’m a weirdo.

FYI:  TODAY is the day that i alienate some of the people who read this blog.

due to my twisted mind i finally managed to gross myself out this afternoon.  i was surfing my favorite bulletin board when i spied a thread titled “The “Virginity Auction Trend” Milk has gone bad… real bad” (btw, peace to the thread’s originator charlie hustle who has a damned fine sports blog of his own).  intrigued, i read the story enclosed.  apparently some goon has offered up on ebay the flower of some poor wheelchair bound girl.

her story is creepy enough, and i won’t give any shine to the clowns who have decided to take advantage of her.  if you want the details feel free to click the link and read the thread.  what troubles me is the fact that THIS was my response to a comment made:

see, thats just plain WRONG.

see, that's just plain WRONG.

just… wow.  i’m actually horrified at myself.  this surely must be a cry for help.  you want to know what’s REALLY scary?  i teach children for a living.  be afraid.  be very afraid.


dunked in glitter and deep fried.

January 26, 2009

ah, the non sequitur blog title.  it can only mean one thing:  comedy videos.

laugh it up, squares.

*****

russ meneve – the last will and testament of theodore ruxpin

patton oswalt – demon cock

bill burr – $1/hour surcharge

christian finnegan – bullies

harland williams – pull over