my new crack.
allow me to do some free advertising for a product i like…
for a few month’s now i have been jocking stumbleupon on this blog with very little explanation as to why. here is the reader’s digest version of why i think stumbling is great:
it helps me discover random websites i will enjoy based on the stated and implied preferences that i and my peers have input (in the same way i understand tivo boxes “learn” what types of tv shows viewers will like).
ok, it’s not THAT serious…
for example: do you like comedy? click the stumble button on your bowser and get directed to arbitrary web-pages that others with similar taste found funny. it has become great way for me to discover sites i might never have found on my own. almost every post i’ve made on this site featuring multiple links has been created based on the sites i stumble into. however, as fun as posting that kind of article has become, the true reason i love stumble upon is unrelated to its terribly entertaining primary function.
it is with great sadness that i acknowledge that my enjoyment of stumbleupon will forever be linked to the 2007 new york mets becoming history’s bitch.
let me explain…
on more than a few occasions i have used this site as a platform for bragging on the greatness of the 2007 mets. my folly became evident a few weeks ago when the team began putting the finishing touches on one of the worst collapses in the history of sports. as their hold on success ebbed away, i began to think about how to address this horrific event on my blog. by the time those chumps met their inevitable end, my thoughts on the matter had been perfectly crafted into blog-entry form.
in fact, the moment the mets’ failure was clinched i posted this article. i was so amused with what i had written that i immediately registered the article with stumble upon.
the next day my blog stats turned upside down.
first – a word about consumption addict. for months after i created this site (in may of ‘07) the average number of daily visitors has been about 150. this number was comprised mostly friends and co-workers – to my knowledge only one person ever surfed in and became a regular reader (shout out to LV). needless to say this is particularly small and humble little blog. the most hits i had ever collected on one given day was 248. in fact, in late september i remember feeling oddly proud that it took only a few months for my site to collect its 10,000th hit.
it was then that i stumbled the article about the fall of my beloved mets. the next morning i reviewed my daily statistics and this is what i found:
holy hell.
1,586 hits. my site’s new “best day” was 500% bigger than its predecessor. wordpress listed my site as the #2 ranked growing blog on their hosting service. news aggregator sites began picking my little article up. almost every link on the front page on my site was being clicked through. for 1/98673th of a second i was an internet phenomenon.
it was all because of that stumbleupon button.
any service that can turn my ramshackle site into something that strangers can discover and enjoy enough to recommend to others is one that i have to appreciate. still – now that i have a blueprint on how to go about expanding the audience of this site, i’m forced to reconsider what i should do with this project all together. to be honest, i only started blogging to impress/entertain my friend urban. now i feel as if i should be entertaining more people.
this inclination begs these questions:
what would all of you like to read here? which articles are the ones that make you come back? which articles are you most likely to share with others? which articles need to stop? what can i do to improve?
feel free to drop any suggestions into the comments box below.
strangely, the most popular article on this site remains this one. odd, i know… the article was not stumbled, yet it never fails to pull anywhere between 15-30 hits per day. you have no idea how many people discover that page by googling the terms “taino indians” and “puerto rican girls.”
by the way, to the end of publicly validating my own creepy proclivities i’m using this opportunity to note that the “other” most popular search terms used to discover this site involve sex toys and midgets.
what can i say? people of the internet… i like your style.
…Clearly, I was in the market for a retaliation plan that would compensate for my being publicly shamed. Of course I wasn’t going to punch the girl, but a proportional response was called for. So when drunkyface turned away for her victory lap, I cupped my left hand and laid a prodigious slap across her butt-cheeks. “Good job, baby.” As you might expect, the girl became furious…
…and with a shiny new quarter in my hand, the three cops formed a triangle formation and escorted me – wearing nothing but sky-blue boxer shorts and happy little santa socks adorned with candy canes – down a ghetto street in east l.a. during the dead of winter to the nearest pay telephone…
…i tried not to be rude about it, but her inability to speak was becoming annoying. could i really hook up with a girl *this* drunk? i remember thinking “i’m brown – if things with this retarded sounding broad end badly this could easily turn into a court case.” when mush-mouth left to have a quick parlay with her grody friends, i broke down the situation to this kid named “broz”…
…let me tell you – it is SOOO not easy to talk someone into giving up an umbilical cord. for something that essentially has no resale value you’d be surprised how unwilling people are to part with them. we ended up acquiring the umbilical cord of a pig…because how would anyone know that it WASN’T a human umbilical cord? we cut a lot of corners when it came to fulfilling these bizarre requests. however, there were certain requests that compelled our full effort…
…otto tumbled down the short flight of stairs like a furry, orange boulder rolling downhill. he gained enough momentum that by the time he hit the court otto had built enough steam to roll to within a few feet of the free throw line. every syracuse fan to witness the atrocity gasped in horror. who was that hooligan that dared attack our beloved gay mascot? me. thats who…
…It was a simpler time, when boys were boys, girls were girls, and midgets were midgets. One such midget was living in my dorm. For the life of me, I can’t remember his name. I’d like to think that he didn’t have a real name, and that all midgets have wacky little monikers like “Mister Peepers,” “Señor Littlejeans” or “Wee Willy.” You get the idea…
…watching the mets lose this lead has been akin to being shot up the ass with a bullet, and then slowly and excruciatingly leaking essential body fluids until death finally (and mercifully) chokes the light from your eyes. if i had a choice between watching this season again or listening to fingernails dragging across a chalkboard at high volume in my headphones for 4 months? i pick the chalkboard… easily…
– yes, i have worn the PR flag like it was a cape before.
…it doesn’t matter that you received the advice from a silly-ass movie or from a bumper sticker, either. for example, once i saw a bumper sticker that read: don’t meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. really…
Posted by jayare20k 
any longer. like a small child being tickled against his will, i let out a belly laugh that left me gasping for air.
