this is a bad scene.
let me preface this article by saying that drunk driving is a fucked up thing to do.
in no way do i condone putting people’s lives at risk in this way. not only do you endanger the lives of others, but you put your own freedom at risk when you leave yourself open for a DUI (as a number of my friends can attest to). that being said… lets face it – most of us have driven drunk before. is it shameful that we did so? yes, very. did any amusing drunk stories come about because of this sin? absolutely. today i was prompted by a thread on tehbored to describe one such amusing incident in my past…
five or six years ago i drove around downtown ft. lauderdale – for about 20 minutes – mindlessly steering my car into oncoming traffic while looking for some random party on a house boat. i finally snapped back into reality because of a “planes, trains & automobiles” moment:
after riding around town like an idiot, i finally found myself idling at a red light (because *that* traffic law i was cool with obeying). having spent most of the voyage oblivious to my surroundings, i finally noticed some chick on the street hollering at me to roll down the window. here i am thinking she’s about to spit game, but instead shes all “you’re going the wrong way.” i swear to god my boy lenny – who was riding shotgun and was significantly drunker than i – shouted back “bitch, you don’t know where the fuck we’re going!”
that phrase – almost identical to the one delivered by john candy in “planes, trains and automobiles” – rang a bell in my subconscious: in that flick, when the drivers said that to steve martin they… and in the movie the trucks happened, and then… oh shit.
at that moment it dawned on me that i was staring at a face full of headlights. ooops.
yep. it pretty much happened like this. (scroll to 4:30)
needless to say, once my brain realized the peril we were in i pulled off the road and began freaking right the fuck out. lenny didn’t understand why i was bugging, and i was way too apoplectic to explain myself in a coherent way. i think we finally did end up at that boat party, but i was so shook that i didn’t enjoy the festivities one iota. plus our homegirl gloria got into some drama, but that’s a whole other saga.
sooo… thats my drunk driving story. or one of them, anyway (so sad). if you’re not too ashamed… break off some of your own in the comments.
June 27, 2008 at 8:45 pm |
dude i have too many (so sad I know) but one of the times I drove home and when i come out i see my car parked diagonally. mind you the spots were straight. so i call my friend up and im like “dang girl you can’t park!!!” she’s like z, you drove yourself. you insisted u were fine and ran away from us with your keys…..
June 27, 2008 at 10:22 pm |
Now I really dont have too many drunk driving stores being that I am currently taking care of my father who is disabled because he decided to drink and drive and damn near killed himself. That being sad- Ive had a damn good reason not to do so….however there are a few times I THOUGHT I was ok to drive only to discover I wasnt. Usually I just pull over and eat somethin or a few times, take a nap til Im fine.
However- I have drivin while not really sober
One such time was after a club while I was I was still in NY. A group of friends and I had driven out to Manhatten from Long Island *read as I got suckered to drive so long as the guys paid for everything that night and someone else drove home* I drank a few drinks at the club and somehow got suckered intoa few shots *mind you im a lightweight. 2-3 drinks and Im good for the entire night* We are leaving the club and the person who had said they would drive back is beyond drunk. *Read as we were carrying him out* No one else wants to drive as they all say-Im too messed up. SOOooo- I thought I was the most sober of them all and I could drive- no problem. WRONG
Driving home wasn’t so bad because theres always someone talking….NOT THIS NIGHT. No, everyone passes out and leaves me to drive us all home safely. So what happens next…. My still tipsy self gets sleepy…. VERY DAMN SLEEPY. Not so cool going 85 on the LIE. Yeah. I woke up right before i slammed into the center divider and almost pissed/shitted on myself. Very scary moment. Drove home damn near on top of the steering wheel, radio blasting and all windows down the rest of the trip.
June 29, 2008 at 3:37 am |
I don’t doubt for a second that saucy sprinted away, keys in hand.
I was at a frat party (ack, ick, I know) in L-town (middle of effing No-where, UT) and decided that I was not in the mood for ‘hands McFratboy’. I told my BFF that I was good to drive, keeping in mind that she’s half my size and drinks twice as much, and attempted to go home.
Frankly, I don’t remember the drive. What I do remember is my girl Drunky Wasterson calling me out for running a red light.
Never again will I drive post drinking. It’s stupid, it’s dangerous, and there’s no reason to do it.
J- remind me to hit you up about the most recent holiday party when you get here- uber sketchiness brought to you by a former employee.
June 29, 2008 at 5:20 am |
saucy – i bet you’re a hilarious drunk. how was it that you attended 2 summer parties at my former place and left neither one trashed?
LV – why do people think that rolling the windows down will help? that has NEVER helped me… in fact it only made me all blinky and sleepier.
karat – it amuses me that you and saucy know each other now.
I’M A UNITER.
i’m a fan of this thing you’re doing with nicknames, kara. keep that alive.
former employee sketchiness? *please* say it was “simon.” PLEASE.
June 30, 2008 at 8:21 pm |
i am indeed a hilarious drunk hehehehe
June 30, 2008 at 9:57 pm |
I rolled the windows down because it was bout 40 degrees outside and the cold air would NOT let me sleep.
June 30, 2008 at 11:45 pm |
Glad you’re a fan. Unfortunately it was NOT Simon, but I do have some good gossip for you in that region as well.