egg on floor.

the last few nights i’ve had a series of troubling and bizarre dreams.

the dreams were strange enough that i mustered the effort necessary to write notes on them. usually my dreams are absorbed by the chime of my alarm clock. other times i remember my dreams for an hour or so, but am too lazy to write it down (figuring i’ll remember the images later – i never do).

not these bastards, however. these dreams were oddball enough that they must be preserved for posterity. ESPECIALLY since it has come to light that i am bat-shit crazy (thank you, internet sanity quiz). without further attempts at foreplay, here is sketchy dream #1:

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the portion of this dream that i remember finds me in the empty parking lot of a publix supermarket standing next to my mother. it’s morning, and we are both dressed in workout clothes. presumably we are going for a run in a few minutes. it is important to remember (or is it?) that i have never once in my real life gone for a run with my mommy. i have nothing against this act, it’s just never occurred.

as we begin to stretch for the workout, a woman carrying an armful of grocery bags approaches us. i recognize the woman as betty, the director of a pre-school i used to work for. betty is pleased to see us about to work out, and offers the following advice -

“if you want to have as much energy possible for your run, you should drink some of these raw…”

betty reaches into the brown paper bag, and pulls up a carton of eggs. she passes the carton to my mom, who removes two eggs from the dozen. i can hear myself thanking betty, but in a way that expresses how unwelcome her input has been. betty hands my mother and i red plastic party cups (identical to the one that starred in the infamous aaliyah dream last march). mom then cracks the contents of the eggs into the cups. we click plastic and say cheers.

my mother tips back the drink and swallows raw egg as if it were a tequila shot. i can feel my face wince in disgust. not to be outdone by my own mom, i man up and begin to drink my own raw egg. as the gooey yolk begins past my tongue, i start to feel an odd sensation on the back of my throat. it is as if something were ever so slightly scratching my uvula.

the scratchy sensation in my throat forces a gag reflex (no homo). i hork up the slimy egg and spit up on to the pavement. betty and my mom rush to my side and ask me if i’m okay. i feel so disgusted that the only words i can muster are “egg on floor.”

we all turn our eyes to the ground and find a grotesque sight. inside the yellow of the horked-up egg, there are tiny chickadee claws and the outline of baby chick feathers clearly visible. i feel vomit rising up in my chest… and then i wake up.

the scary thing is that i woke up with a scratchy feeling in the back of my throat.

since then i have been in research mode, trying to piece together the symbolism of some of the elements in this dream (such as eggs, chickadees, throats, and vomit). i’m not sure this effort has returned any valuable answers. any speculation you can provide to this end is of course appreciated. oddly enough, of the two notable dreams i have had lately, this one is the LEAST surreal… details on the other are soon to come.