junk smells like boysenberry pie: a JUNO review.

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every year, right around the holidays, i transform into a movie going whore.

ok, thats not true… i’m a year-’round whore. but whenever i stay with my family it’s a lock that i will see every mainstream movie thats out in theaters. adults with free time, puritanical lifestyles, and disposable incomes tend to frequent the cinema. this christmas has been no different.

thus far my favorite flick has been diablo cody’s “Juno.” one sentence synopsis: JUNO is about a 16 year old girl – with a slapworthy mouth – dealing with the fact that she’s just been knocked up. consider it a coming of age / heart warming / cautionary whale tale… et cetera. sure, i could bore you with a spoilery plot synopsis, but i’d rather you watch the film and enjoy the humor without my ruining it for you.

blah, who am i kidding… here are a few random quotes to whet your appetite:

Juno MacGuff: You should’ve gone to China, you know, ’cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.

Receptionist: Free condom? They’re boysenberry.
Juno MacGuff: No, thanks. I’m off sex right now.
Receptionist: My boyfriend wears them every time we have intercourse, it makes his junk smell like pie.

who among us has not secretly wished that our junk smelled like boysenberry pie? surely not i.

personally, i thought the dialogue was truly hilarious. maybe some lines were beyond the scope of teenagers, but i dug the fact that ellen page’s character acknowledged the fact that she engages in conversations that are over her head. plus, young miss page’s sassy mouth coupled with her jailbait look combine for a likable screen persona.

peace to saucy z for introducing me to the film “hard candy” – thus allowing me to brag on the fact that i’ve been hip to ellen page’s skills for a while now (well done, rican). as for the rest of the cast – well, i’ve loved most of them forever. the too brief contribution from allison janney scratched my C.J. Cregg/West Wing itch (smart & doofy women are magnificently sexy). michael cera and jason bateman made me wish arrested development had never been cancelled all over again. however, the one actor who stepped up in an amazing way was jennifer garner.

i’ll admit – i never bothered to watch her on the tv show “alias.” all i know from jennifer garner is her film roles – and to be honest i’ve never really impressed. but in “juno” she was incredible. i love it when actors can dominate scenes without having any dialogue to recite. jennifer garner stole scenes from actors that in my mind should normally outclass her. as much as i enjoy being a hater, i’m glad to give her some props.

anyway, i suggest that you go see this film. i give it 4/5 cuchifritos, intrepid moviegoers. more reviews to come, because i will absolutely be seeing a thousand more flicks in the coming weeks.

christ, i need a new hobby.