have a seat, roger clemens.
******
maybe its the bitter mets fan in me talking, but i had no idea that the fall of roger clemens would bring me this much glee. i’m downright tickled.
all the jibber-jabber over the years about how the rocket was such a well conditioned athlete – thus allowing him to perform SOOO AMAZINGLY at an advanced age? yeah, not so much.
Clemens offers the public only a glimpse of his physical regime. He acknowledges that he runs three or three-and-a-half miles three times between his starts, and that he strengthens his right hand by manipulating it in a bucket of rice, just as Steve Carlton once did. Clemens reveals only generalities about the year-round daily workouts he conducts with only a two-week break after the season.
“When I was 29 or 30, I waited and I got more and more sore,” Clemens says. “I went zero to 80, but it took time to recover.” (link)
apparently the fountain of youth was cleverly disguised as a syringe filled with anabolic steroids. enjoy your disgrace, jackass.
perhaps we should have seen it coming. the incident that took place in the 2000 world series – you know, when the rocket threw a shard of a broken bat at mike piazza – seemed like a ‘roid rage sort of maneuver. or maybe clemens was a jerk all along, and his use of performance enhancing drugs was just another manifestation of that. either way, his reputation is now officially ruined. welcome to life as the white barry bonds.
to be sure, a lot of other players were named in the now infamous mitchell report on steroids in major league baseball. i’m saddened that names like dykstra, tejada, pettite, and justice have been linked to this scandal as well. john rocker was also named – but fuck that ignorant hayseed too. while i don’t think you can place an asterisk on this era in baseball, i think there is one solution that has worked as a deterrent for wrong doing in the past (and can work again).
the shoeless joe jackson treatment.
more specifically – let these clowns suffer the same fate as the 1919 chicago “black socks” players. ban them from baseball. that means no hall of fame, and no admittance into major league stadiums. no recognition of their accomplishments – EVER. the record books should be left alone – its the individuals named that should be stricken.
what do you think?
December 15, 2007 at 12:47 am |
I love “apparently the fountain of youth was cleverly disguised as a syringe filled with anabolic steroids. enjoy your disgrace, jackass.”
I seriously laughed so hard that I cried. I cried. There were tears.
December 15, 2007 at 5:36 am |
i do what i can.
December 17, 2007 at 2:27 pm |
Why do people care so much? There’s far more important things to worry about. I just found out that Jessica Alba’s dude is half black…you know what that means for me? Absolutely nothing. But that’s not the point. Hypothetically, I had a chance with her. I just need to find some plutonium and a Delorian and I’m gonna make big things happen, son.
December 17, 2007 at 9:30 pm |
wow the black sox….
December 18, 2007 at 12:05 am |
Huck – yeah, dude is HALF black. jessica alba likes her men like she likes her coffee – “latte,” and in a giant starbucks cup. add a chemical peel to your shopping list before you can get all “marty mcfly” on her.
by the by, i care about the fall of roger clemens because it serves as a public reminder that the arrogant still can fall. some folks deserve to be TKO’d by humility… this clown happened to get his publicly. i’ll be damned if i don’t enjoy it.
saucy – yeah, sorry but that one has gotta hit home. do the ricans in chicago get all weepy at the phrase “say it aint so, joe”??
December 18, 2007 at 2:28 am |
Roger Clemens is a dick. But here’s a newsflash: White people don’t care. Crackas love their white athletes. Even if they’re good only because of steroids or crack. They don’t have many heroes to look up to in sports (outside of hockey that is). You think they’d flip if Steve Nash was on the stuff? No, they’d say “Well everyone is doing it. You have to in order to stay competitive.” You think Clemens is falling? They haven’t pulled his Cingular commercials yet. Plus, he’s not going to jail. Barry may be.
And Jessica is obviously a fan of the Negroes. Plus, my mama is light skinnededededed. And I doubt she’d let you holler at her. She’s obviously got self hate issues. And quite frankly, were I mexican’t I would too.
December 18, 2007 at 5:10 am |
Thanks for the sports update. If it wasn’t for you or Jen’s Mike, I wouldn’t have anything to talk about with guys. Sigh.
December 18, 2007 at 5:38 am |
huck - well barry lied to a grand jury, so that jail cell definitely awaits him. roger is lying too, he just wasn’t silly enough to do so under oath.
you’re right – they haven’t pulled any of roger’s ads yet (thats some bullshit). to be fair – they didn’t pull shawn merriman’s either. and i doubt clemens will get shat upon as wildly as bonds was/is still… white people from texas won’t allow it. but at the end of the day history will judge him the same way that it will barry. as a cheater. anybody who knows anything about baseball will forever look at him like a piece of shit (instead of like the greatest pitcher in the last 40 years, which he was considered a few weeks ago).
that motherfucker knows it, too. hence my continued glee.
to clarify, do you doubt that jessica alba would let me holler or your mom? i’m cool either way.
heather – wow, i’m so not trying to help you talk to other guys.
December 18, 2007 at 5:51 am |
Ty Cobb.
December 18, 2007 at 5:59 am |
history will judge roger and barry so much harsher than ty cobb because of when their fuck-up occurred.
ty cobb wasn’t around for 24 hour sports news networks & the internet. by virtue of their wrongdoing roger clemens & barry bonds are going to be victims of the electronic media era. in 2078 when some kid does a google or wikipedia search on either of those clowns the word “steroids” and “cheating” will always turn up.
December 18, 2007 at 6:59 am |
This is the same guy who threw a bat a Piazza AFTER he’d knocked him out. I’m not saying that people don’t think this guy is an asshole. I just think that he’ll eventually end up in the Hall, while Barry’s dumb ass will be in the Mess Hall eating bologna sammiches two times a day. And I did wikipedia search on clemens. That shit was like a footnote.
I don’t like the guy. I just think that being white trumps everything.
December 19, 2007 at 12:30 am |
why yes, yes we do.
October 7, 2008 at 11:10 am |
Подскажите шооблончег под WordPress 2.6.2, чтобы был похож на ваш consumptionaddict.com.
Заранее благодарю)
October 9, 2008 at 7:19 pm |
I totally love that you got a random spam comment, because it brought me to revisit the ongoing arguments between you two. Clemens = Fail…XOXO, whitey.
Glorious.
I also think I’m going to hell for pretending the mini-me is sick to avoid going into the office today. Meh.