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salma hayek gives birth to a dove, cashes in 401k.

September 23, 2007

dfkl

one hell of a gene pool.

 

***

It’s a girl for Salma Hayek, fiancé
41-year-old actress names first child Valentina Paloma Pinault
Updated: 12:17 p.m. PT Sept 22, 2007

LOS ANGELES – Salma Hayek has given birth to a baby girl, Valentina Paloma Pinault, her publicist announced Friday.

“Mother and child are doing well,” publicist Cari Ross said in a statement. No other details were released.

The Mexico-born actress, 41, is engaged to businessman Francois-Henri Pinault. (link)

the luckiest person in the world right now is the kid who will one day marry valentina pinault (or as i will now & forever call her: la paloma). she is OBVIOUSLY going to grow up to be absurdly hot. then there is the matter of all that gucci /yves /puma money that will find a cozy little home in her trust fund. ah, to be rich and beautiful… lets hope they ship the little lady out of l.a.

wouldn’t want la paloma to turn out like the rest of the hollywood sluteratti.

fdhsjkn

yes, i mean these bitches.

by the way… while i congratulate that rat bastard francois-henri pinault and señora hayek on this wonderful occasion*, i also find myself feeling a little sad. the mecca of my adolescent fantasies has on this night been stretched beyond recognition.

pregztemporary, you say? sure.

but just for tonight i feel like pouring a little don q patron out for the homie.

*i also would like to take this opportunity to congratulate my dear friend Urban Rhetoric. judging from this pic, she’ll be having her own “release party” any day now. btw, nice block of ice on the ring finger, pimpin’.

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10 Comments leave one →
  1. September 23, 2007 12:34 pm

    i actually wouldn’t bank on the little paloma being that hot. have you seen dad? sweet jesus, that man is ugly. but oh so rich. i have to remind myself of that every time i see his pic.

    i am so effing pregnant, it’s not even funny.

  2. jayare20k permalink*
    September 23, 2007 4:46 pm

    i suppose i took it for granted that salma’s dead sexy dna would trump frenchy’s fugly. but as usual, you are correct. based on her dad’s grill paloma might end up as the ultimate butterfaced princess. my prediction: daddy warbucks is gonna pay for a new face before her sweet 16 (kim kardashian style).

    and yes…you’re a baby birthin’ dynamo.

  3. saucy z permalink
    September 23, 2007 7:21 pm

    she might be hot. i’ve seen ugly ass parents have hot children. hahaha

  4. Dances like Speedskater permalink
    September 23, 2007 7:38 pm

    Her hotness is downgraded by the fact that she banged that nasty looking man (I don’t care how much money he has). BTW, I’m depressed you didn’t do one on the John Kerry stun gun incident.

  5. jayare20k permalink*
    September 24, 2007 2:02 am

    you have a blog, speedskater. i think you should write about the “don’t tase me, bro” douchebag, and i’ll post a link to the article on my page. also – i demand you take back what you said about salma. no, i’m not joking.

  6. Dances like... permalink
    September 24, 2007 2:08 pm

    EYEROLL… Fine! She’s still hot. I don’t know if I can write a blog that can properly depict that hilarity. It has to be evil in it’s humor and I think you have me beat in that game. PS… Are you coming to NY or what?

  7. jayare20k permalink*
    September 25, 2007 6:31 am

    uh..yeah. about that. i’m pleading poverty on that trip (and trust that the bride to be got in my face over it). plus, sunshine can’t go.

    i know, i’m the worst latino ever.

  8. September 25, 2007 5:23 pm

    Baby daddy is fugly…but I heard via my friend who works at cedars- the baby is actually cute. Sooooo only time can tell.

  9. jayare20k permalink*
    September 26, 2007 1:21 am

    sadly, i’ll be 48 when la paloma becomes legal. i still have a better chance with mom… and all i need is a few billion dollars and i have a shot because clearly looks weren’t an issue.

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