duck sauce.
duck!
i’ve done a lot of sketchy things while under the influence of… well, i’ll say it. drugs. sketchy drugs. sketchy enough that at one point i thought myself to be particularly edgy. but stories like this remind me that i am nowhere near the “fringe.”
i don’t even want to know what the fuck homeboy was doing with the toilet duck.
Sex aid burglar escapes jail
By Christine FlatleySeptember 19, 2007 03:55pm
A MAN who broke into his neighbour’s home west of Brisbane and used her vacuum cleaner and a detergent bottle as sex aids has avoided jail. Jamie Thomas Lacey, 27, was high on LSD and amphetamines when he broke into the house at Millmerran in September 2004.
He pleaded guilty today in the Brisbane District Court to burglary and wilful damage.
The court was told his neighbour returned home on September 29 to find her bathroom in a total state of disarray.
Crown prosecutor Julie Aylward told the court pornographic magazines and clothes were strewn around the room, and that a makeshift sex aid constructed from a Toilet Duck bottle, a piece of wood and a latex glove had also been left behind.
The woman’s vacuum cleaner had also been left in the bathroom.
Lacey’s defence barrister, Shaun Gordon, argued there was no proof his client had used the vacuum cleaner as a sex aid, but Judge Tony Rafter said it was unlikely it had been used for cleaning. (link)
i would also like to take this opportunity to amend a statement i made on an earlier post. a few weeks ago i alleged that i had found the greatest mugshot of all time. sadly, in less than a week, this mugshot has been trumped.
make sure you’re sitting down for this.
behold – the NEW greatest mugshot of all time:
the funniest thing? they call him no-nose. no nose! REALLY, they do. here is the link to prove it. dude looks like a mr. potato head doll walking out of rehab. humpty from digital underground is salty with jealousy right now. it must suck to have a cat’s anus right in the middle of your face.
jokes for days, son.
Okay, I have to tell you, this one is no buenos. The two combined stories made me actually sick to my stomach.
omg. my childhood family nickname was no nose…but not for the same reasons…oh my goodness. this photo almost made me throw up all over my desk.
AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA OMG…No WAY….NOOOOOO FRIGGIN WAY…..
1)- Toilet Duck bottle, a piece of wood and a latex glove…not to mention the vacuum cleaner….WTF. Ive done some crazy things but DAAAAAAAAAAAMN AHAHAHAAHHAHAAHAHAH thats funny
2)- OMG…..CAT’S ANUS…..HAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHA THAT SUCKS TO BE HIM….
Saucy – your childhood name was no-nose? ok, you’re gonna have to break that one down for me…
Speedskater – you new englanders are wicked soft.
sra valentin – i wonder what the piece of wood was for?
i cant even think of what the wood was for….maybe to…hell I dont even know. I can see the bottle and the glove…even the vacuum *scary movie anyone?* but the wood is baffling. Damn it…..i really cant think of what it would be for…..
i have a tiny nose…and when i was a kid it barely poked out of my face so my uncle called me no nose…def. not the same thing…goodness…
sin nariz – thanks for that chuckle. your nose is normal now, though.
valentin – maybe to bite down on? i dunno…i’m reaching.
Sooooo here are my thoughts:
1. Ew
2. That is just ew
3. I think that guy’s face looks like a womans netherregion. Pussy lips and a-hole to boot. Some sicko is having a field day thinking of f*%king that guys face.
ok, now I’M grossed out.
awwwww Heather……thats just FRIGGIN GROSS…….ewwwwwwwwwwww.
question tho….how did you come to the conclusion that “some sicko” is thinkin of doing said nasty thing? where did your mind go….never mind…I dont think i want to know…