consumption addict

take a look inside…

you can tell the summer is about to end when all the dweebs, meatheads, and geeks you know conduct their fantasy football draft. last thursday night ten people fitting the above description filed into my livingroom and made their picks for the 2007 football season. my room mates ran for cover, but not before shan delivered the mean spirited funny of the night: “guys…just make sure you clean up all the dork before you leave.”

shannon wins.

anyway, as far as logistics go the draft was a success. mks – our commissioner – runs a tight ship. we even managed to sync up with 2 participants on the east coast (peace to jiro and p-bear). now, the results of the draft? a little weak sauce as far as i’m concerned.

don’t get me wrong – i like my team. but my first pick came so late that i wasn’t able to pick up any true super-stars for my squad. check out the team i’m rolling out this year:

spic in a box all-stars (2007 edition)

QB – Donovan McNabb (PHI)
RB – Rudi Johnson (CIN)
RB – Maurice Jones-Drew (JAX)
WR – Terry Glenn (DAL)
WR – Donte’ Stallworth (N.E.)
RB – Warrick Dunn (ATL)
TE – Randy McMichael (STL)
K – Jason Hansen (DET)
DEF – CHICAGO BEARS
———–
WR – Calvin Johnson (DET)
WR – Anthony Gonzales (IND)
RB – Kenny Irons (CIN)
RB – Mike Anderson (BAL)
RB – Mike Bell (DEN)

first – a word about the team name. yes, i really named it “spic in a box.” no, i don’t fetish justin timberlake – i just think that phrase is particularly hysterical. while i have never actually won the fantasy football title, every year i take the “best team name” crown in a runaway. i usually change my team’s name 7-8 times over the course of the season – so any amusing names you’d like to suggest will be thoughtfully considered.

now when it comes to this season’s team, it would seem that i took a few risks that might come back to haunt me. donovan mcnabb (syracuse alum, baby) is a force of nature on the football field, but this year he is returning from a terrible knee injury. has he truly recovered? i guess i’ll find out.

rudi johnson is a top notch running back for the bengals. however, this year the bengals have a lot of injuries in their offensive line… will they still be able to block for him effectively?

maurice jones-drew scored an assload of touchdowns last year. this year promises the same, but now he must share his workload with a healthy veteran running back in fred taylor. will fred taylor fuck up my guy’s stats?

while both my starting wide receivers have a history of putting up strong and steady numbers, neither of them are superstars. will stallworth and glenn’s production be enough to hold me down, or will i need to go shopping on the virtual meat market (wow, that sounds wild homo) to pick up another player?

the funny thing is that by the time the season gets rolling, so many things will have occurred that it will make the crap i’m fretting over now seem irrelevant. either way, i’m psyched to get going and nerd out with some football this fall. i’ve just gotta be sure to wipe up all the dork once i’m done…