the most complex eco-system the human race has to offer.

word.

 

thanks to gloryana banana for this long-winded myspace questionnaire about the city of my youth. why repost this? have you ever met a displaced new yorker who DIDN’T want to talk about their home town…?
New Yorkers

1. Which borough do you live?
los angeles counts as a borough…look, we even have the dodgers.

2. Were you born there?
i was actually born at flower 5th avenue hospital in manhattan…but grew up in the bronx.

3. Yankees or Mets?
mets. rooting for the yankees is like rooting for billionaires to win the lottery.

4. Transportation:
when i was a new yorker? the bus and the six train.

5. Have you ever been to Ellis Island?
yep. my parents are history nerds.

6. Where is your favorite place to hang out?
central park. easily.

7. Ever been robbed?
hahah…YES. for my new orleans saints starter jacket on the 2 train.

8. Have you seen someone get robbed?
yeah, me. also: others.

9. Whats the one thing you hate about New York?
the weather. i’m all set with living anyplace cold ever again.

10. Do you know anybody from Staten Island?
yup, my not-really-cousin cousins, rashaad & rei

11. Ever been to Staten Island?
lord yes.

12. Should Spanish Harlem on the West Side be called ” Little Santo Domingo”?
sure. lets also set up shanty-towns, name the streets after sammy sosa, and bar anyone from wearing socks.

13. Why are there more Mexicans working in Italian Pizzerias than Italians?
because when it comes to mexicans, you can’t knock the hustle.

14. Do you eat hot dogs from the hot dog stand?
depends. we talking gray’s papaya here or street cart vendors? cause those street dogs are stewing in rat dookie.

15. Ever been to the Puerto Rican Day parade?
mwahahahahaha hahahahahahah.

16. How about the St. Patrick’s Day parade?
actually…i don’t think i have.

17. Labor Day parade?
the what now?

18. Ever run into someone famous?
a bunch, but my favorite was the time david dinkins grubbed a smoke off me (true story).

19. Ever been to the Knitting Factory?
i saw company flow there.

20. Why are the subways always messed up on the weekends?
racism. how the fuck should i know? do i have MTA sewn on my jacket, dickface?

21. Ever see a free concert, if yes who?
a few. my favorite was boogie down productions at van cortlandt park.

22. Been to Club 40/40?
guh?

23. Do you think New Jersey should be the 6th borough?
they wish.

24. Will the Knicks win anything next season?
the draft lottery. maybe.

25. Where is you favorite place to shop?
fatbeats, forbidden planet, dr. jay’s, and cappy’s stationary around the way.

26. Whats the name of your neighborhood?
co-op city, section one.

27. Would you take a taxi or the subway during Rush Hour?
subway. picture me paying for a cab from the city to the north bronx.

28. Why do Asian and European tourists buy everything?
because they have disposable income, what with that free health care and no wars to bankroll.

29. Is your neighborhood safe?
not since section 5 started warring with valley. fucking. park.

30. Do you think New York has the most bums in the United States?
the person who wrote this questionnaire clearly has never been to los angeles.

31. Do you know anybody who lives on Park Ave?
above my pay grade, soldier.

32. Ever been on the top floor of the Twin Towers before 9/11?
as late as 2000 i used to work on west street (literally 100 feet away) and had lunch a few times at windows on the world.

33. Why do NYU students try so hard to be New Yorkers?
why shouldn’t they?

34. Do you ever take a walk in Central Park?
yup, all the time.

35. Where do you get your coffee from?
not a coffee drinker.

36. Which borough do you hate on the most?
staten island, probably. that place smells.

37. Have you ever kissed in the middle of Times Square?
yeah, but it was my mom on new years when i was little, so…blah.

38. Do you like the NYPD?
no. they can’t be trusted.

39. How many Broadway show have you seen?
a few.

40. Do you think New York is just filled with assholes?
new york is the most diverse city in the world. not just ethnicities, but social classes, ideologies, religions, et cetera. all those different people in a confined space and there is gonna be static. conflicts bring out the asshole in all of us.

41. Should tourists be banned from walking the streets?
no. that city belongs to everyone – thats the whole point.

42. Do you help lost tourist in the subways?
and make eye contact? psshhh.

43. What do you like about New York?
it’s the most complex eco-system the human race has to offer.

44. Do you feel lucky to live in New York?
when i lived in nyc, i didn’t feel lucky. i thought that life in the city was as life was everywhere else. it wasn’t until i left that i had an appreciation for new york.

45. Do you believe if you can make it in New York you can make it any where?
yes.

46. Does this survey make you proud to be a New Yorker?
i don’t need a survey to make me proud.