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i am in fact puerto rican.

June 10, 2007

my people.

if its june 10th, then it must be time for the puerto rican day parade in nyc. if you find yourself on 5th avenue today its 100% guaranteed you will hear the song “100% pure” playing…loud (r.i.p. big pun).

in case you didn’t get the memo i sent out, i am in fact puerto rican. some other answers to questions nobody has asked:

  • yes, i have worn the PR flag like it was a cape before.
  • yes, i will do so again.
  • no, i don’t have eleventy million PR flags all over my car. there are some stereotypes even i won’t fulfill.
  • yes i watched miguel cotto hold it down for caguas by pumelling zab judah last night (brooklyn sit down).
  • yes, my itunes is playing gilberto santa rosa’s “conciencia” as i type these words.
  • no, i’m not proud of reggaeton. we perfected salsa music…cut us a break on that one.
  • no. i don’t know j-lo. fuck you, whitey.
  • yes, it’s true that i own a plantation in vega alta, PR.
  • no, i will not be setting up a starbucks there, as some of you assholes have suggested.
  • no, i don’t have any PR flags tattooed to my body. however, if i ever DID get a tatt it would include one or more of these fly taino indian symbols in some way.
  • no, there are no PR parades of note in southern california. why? because there are only 7 of us here…and everyone seems to think we’re mexican.

oh well. today i dream of alcapurias and thick boricua chicks shaking it fast beneath the goya float. i miss you, my people.

60 Comments leave one →
  1. June 11, 2007 12:18 am

    maybe the 7 of you should roast a lechon today.

  2. jayare20k permalink*
    June 11, 2007 5:08 am

    and its funny, because i was just thinking how this blog was missing some snarky commentary…

  3. saucy z permalink
    June 11, 2007 9:03 pm

    hey! I always wanted a taino symbol too! hehe…I should be making some pasteles soon, and what seems like ur fave-cuchifrito. there’s 7 of us!?!? why are you hiding the others from me :) ?

  4. jayare20k permalink*
    June 12, 2007 2:38 am

    lechon? pasteles? this blog is making me hungry.

    and if we got all the ricans in town together in one spot the property value would instantly plummet…and nobody wants that, saucy.

  5. Kara! permalink
    June 13, 2007 8:18 pm

    Starbucks. Sooner rather than later.

  6. jayare20k permalink*
    June 14, 2007 6:39 am

    nobody on the island is going to buy a triple-caff-latte made in the back woods.

  7. Glory permalink
    June 14, 2007 9:29 pm

    I flipping LOVE the Goya Float! Me and Lenny… Good times…. haha

  8. jayare20k permalink*
    June 14, 2007 9:45 pm

    wait…you and WHO? wrd i remember that kid.

  9. July 14, 2007 11:36 pm

    im sorry

  10. July 18, 2007 11:26 pm

    Theres more than 7 boriquas out here. Hell me and my girls make up 3! LOL My family is out here too but they are all from the BX baby! So sad, I was in NY for 4 years…..damn I miss the BX. All those fine PR men……….God bless their mommas. LOL
    I heard theres a festival in Long Beach every year = Dia de San Juan. I didnt go- it just couldnt compare to The PR in NY.

  11. jayare20k permalink*
    July 19, 2007 2:28 am

    i’ve heard rumors about the long beach parade as well.

    however…nobody i talk to has ever actually BEEN to it. i’m skeptical. until somebody confirms that this parade truly exists i’m gonna be a non-believer.

    and really, is it too much to ask for someone to serve up lechon y tostones while i’m kicking it on the beach?
    (not orchard!)

  12. XxLaBoricuaXx permalink
    August 10, 2007 8:38 pm

    I love puerto rico too and i hold it down for my boricua crew for life. i love all my puerto rican people.

  13. XxLaBoricuaXx permalink
    August 10, 2007 8:39 pm

    I love reggeaton i dont know what you talkin bout that hot as hell.

  14. August 25, 2007 12:07 am

    Orchard beach- awww the memories! Cant say I remember being on the beach itself- just the boardwalk. Im scared of whats in the sand. 2 years ago I was there right after the Parade. GOOD LORD it was a beautiful sight. The parking lot full of cars with flags waving. The men walking around with their shirts off after playing handball. OH YES….The best part- my cousin’s dad is the head lifeguard down there so we get the good parking spot and dont pay for any of the food. DAMMMMMN I miss NY. Ok- jayare20k- lets take a trip back to NY- to CO OP. My fam stay in building 10 on Debbs. LOL Lets go!

  15. August 25, 2007 12:09 am

    I think im planning my trip for sept or october. before it gets too cold. you know you miss co op. Amazing how even when I was stupid drunk I always managed to find the building….lol no matter where we parked- i could always make my way back to the building. good times

  16. jayare20k permalink*
    August 27, 2007 7:32 am

    orchard beach is a meat market of epic proportions. more ass-cheek is packed inside bikini bottoms there than in any other place on the face of the earth.

    actual fact.

    another interesting fact: i will also be in nyc this october. i don’t think i’m going to be spending much time kicking it at bay plaza, but i might swing by to city island at some point (because who wouldn’t want to eat something they caught out in long island sound?).

  17. August 30, 2007 7:00 pm

    LOL @ actual fact. I wont dispute said statement. I seen this asian chic with ass like somya reese and i was like wtf! LOL only at orchard beach. when in october are you goin? I havent bought my ticket just yet. I’ll actually be stayin in co-op at my cuzzo’s house.

    and yes- who wouldnt want to eat something caught out of the long island sound….LOL

    side note- read the NY times for today-the janitors in co-op *section 5 to be exact* are going postal and shooting on co-workers!

  18. jayare20k permalink*
    August 30, 2007 9:41 pm

    as a public service to this site i insist you run the link to that janitor story. i will absolutely write a blog about it.

  19. August 31, 2007 12:28 am

    LOL public service called heard and answered my fellow boricua in a city full of everything else BUT puerto ricans….

    http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/30/nyregion/30cnd-shoot.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin

  20. August 31, 2007 12:28 am

    hehhe- i said called when i meant to say call…..thats a rican for ya…its late- my shift is almost over- thats my story and im sticking to it

  21. AndresMarquez permalink
    January 11, 2008 3:48 am

    Holy Crap… I have no idea who the HELL you are but I think I LOVE YOU!!! Go Figure! Puerto Rican Love story for the 2000′s. Dos Mil Y Ocho, Bizcocho!

    PS
    I am also, in fact, Puerto Rican. From the BX…. Southern cali is kinda lousy with mexicans but Northern Cali and the BAY specifically has a larger density of PR’s. Maybe consider a move…? Anyway…. Just needed to say hi and Comment. I love all of my Puerto Rican women! Keep doing it!

    Andres

  22. jayare20k permalink*
    January 11, 2008 4:00 am

    right about now would be a good time to mention that i am a PR *guy*…

  23. Huck permalink
    January 11, 2008 4:36 am

    whoa….

  24. ichi the arawak permalink
    January 24, 2008 3:45 am

    NOONE should represent the flag of puerto RICO …you should all ,if you are really 100%should represent the Taino -Arawak flag you,by using that flag, are showing pride in the tyranny of Columbus and years of war and slavery from the (in a non racial way) White men of Europe .

    The tainos/Arawaks are the first real inhabitants of that land.

    Ps-I am Arawak

  25. jayare20k permalink*
    January 24, 2008 4:52 am

    ichi -

    i understand your thinking, but i respectfully have to disagree.

    i like the fact that as a PR i am more than just the descendant of the tainos. i am a melange of taino/arawak, west african, and european. since my gene pool doesn’t end with indigenous people, i choose to own everything… the good, bad, and the ugly. if you only honor the heroic and long suffering parts of your family tree, you’re not being as honest with yourself as you should be.

    in terms of pride, to single out one line of my ancestry is to slight the others. to ignore or downplay the tyranny suffered at the hands of people like columbus also means that we ignore or downplay the strength that was required to survive this tyranny.

    yes, standing up for that flag also means standing with people who were scoundrels and criminals. but standing up for it *also* acknowledges that we are NOT ALL columbuses. that despite the sins of our fathers, we have managed to surrender to the better angels of our nature. we – our ancestors and ourselves – have made heaven from hell. the symbol of that effort is worth commemorating.

  26. January 24, 2008 7:26 pm

    jay if i didnt know any better, i’d say you were an intellectual. LOL

    But really, i definitely agree with what you just said… I accept and embrace all of what makes me a puerto rican- good, bad and well ugly souls *theres no ugly in puerto ricans!*

  27. Tido permalink
    February 4, 2008 10:26 pm

    i am not pr screw their asses hoe

    starbucks is awesome screw u

  28. taino de tibet permalink
    February 6, 2008 9:14 am

    hey jay, this is kinda late but I read your theory and point of view on that, totally support it and agree with you…vaya boricua! even if I don’t know ya, still occupy a space in this PRican heart baby!

  29. March 18, 2008 7:49 pm

    We are not puerto ricans we are tainos from the island of Boriken. the same taino people who discovered columbus in 1492. !!Despierta Boricua Defiende lo tuyo!!

  30. March 18, 2008 7:58 pm

    We let the world that the TAINOs are still here. Boriken, quisqueya, cuba, jamaica, bahamas, venezuela, florida=bimimi and much more. taino ti

  31. jayare20k permalink*
    March 18, 2008 9:37 pm

    again, i respectfully disagree.

    the taino indians are a large part of the story – but at the end of the day they’re just a part. good or bad, i’m not going to disown the mixed members of my family because of crimes from another century. the european and african blood in my family is here right now, and i would never disrespect them by negating their existence.

  32. March 19, 2008 4:47 am

    borkien, haduken, whatever. if your people come from puerto rico, then you’re sill puerto rican…

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  34. Karat permalink
    July 30, 2008 5:44 am

    AWE….look at you, all getting spammed.

  35. Patty permalink
    October 3, 2008 7:37 am

    Hi
    I stumbled onto your website while looking into Taino Indians! I’m originally from
    Brooklyn, NY…..East new york! I now live in southern California and its so annoying when people confuse me with Mexicans.so I feel your pain. lol

    I sooo miss seeing PRs..eating yucca, pasteles, arroz con gandures, lechon, alcapuria…*sigh* I STILL havent found a decent PR restaurant here in LA…
    Would you happen to know of one?!?!?! LOL
    pat6462@hotmail.com

    Later Newyorican! :-)

  36. jayare20k permalink*
    October 4, 2008 3:18 am

    BKNY stand up.

    actually, i’m about 3000 miles from l.a. these days patty. but if it makes you feel any better, i know a couple of rican chicks in l.a. who are cool people (and who comment on this blog on the rare occasion i make a post).

    maybe they could help you on your quest for cuchifritos on the west side…?

  37. October 7, 2008 1:10 am

    awww poor patty!!!

    we are out here!!! LOL I know its hard to believe but theres a decent amount of us out here

    *PS- odly enough I keep seeing our flags hanging from rearview mirrors in cars… and Im always like- I just wanna wait to see whos car it is…LOL*

  38. saucy z permalink
    October 7, 2008 1:13 am

    hi patty–

    the only restaurant with PR food I have found (and it’s pretty decent too!) is Senor Big Ed in Cypress CA. They also serve Mexican food but they have a separate menu for Rican dishes.

    addy:
    5490 Lincoln Ave
    Cypress, CA 90630

  39. jayare20k permalink*
    October 7, 2008 2:13 am

    once again… useful commentary from the californian arroz con habichuela crowd.

    thank you, ladies.

  40. October 10, 2008 6:59 pm

    ohhhhhhh really saucy???

    Ima google the place and try it. LOL

    Cuz waiting for grandma to cook and drivin all the way to rancho cucamonga sucks… LOL

    AND LMAO @ arroz con habichuela crowd. LOL

    damn you- now Im hungry

  41. October 10, 2008 6:59 pm

    i meant google map it- on my phone.

    Im not that slow saucy…I swear. LOL

  42. October 11, 2008 5:57 pm

    wait…ricans aren’t mexican? since when?

  43. October 11, 2008 8:25 pm

    dont you start Huck….

    YOU BETTER NOT!!!

  44. rastommy permalink
    October 23, 2008 6:39 pm

    Nice entry, jayare! Me trae recuerdos!

    This might interest you, does this ever happen to you in Cali (I’m assuming from your entry that you’re in Cali?)…

    http://rastommy.wordpress.com/2008/10/03/citizen-or-not-tales-of-a-puerto-rican/

  45. October 30, 2008 8:07 am

    just watched this video- made me think of being at the parade…..

  46. January 7, 2009 10:16 am

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  47. DEBI permalink
    April 5, 2009 8:48 am

    Where are all the puerto ricans in southern Califonia?
    I live in San Luis Obispo County, where Cal Poly college is located. My husband & I want to move further south but don’t have a clue where to go. Anyone have any ideas.
    Hey FYI there is a restaurant called VERSALLES in Venice that makes killer cuban food. Next best thing to our own food.

  48. Kuyari permalink
    June 21, 2009 8:05 pm

    Taino mixed pride here and member of Taino nation of the antilles, yukahu cacona uara ke waka Tainkaya kurixia, tai ku.

  49. aracelis permalink
    August 2, 2009 4:57 pm

    What are puerto ricans doing in Mexico, i mean CA ? Why would a boricua go there ? anyway, why is everyone focusing on taino ? that’s ok but let’s not forget about Nigeria. i am learning yoruba because my great great grandmother arrived in cuba from nigeria in late 1800′s then her daughter left cuba to borinquen. if anyone wants some good puerto rican food, i suggest that you leave CA.

  50. lissi permalink
    November 12, 2009 1:56 am

    I DNT GIVA FUK WAT YAL THINK BOUT US BORICUAS.. CUZ U DNT NO SHIT… MABI U SHULD KEEP UR MOUTH CLOSE ND LET THE REAL PPL SHINE… STAND UP BORICUAS!!!!!!!!! YA TU SABE!!!

  51. BORICUA BABE permalink
    November 12, 2009 2:01 am

    whats ronge wit wearin OUR flag as a cape? wat we cnt b proud 2 b boricuas… hell, i am so f’n proud 2 b a boricua, nd 4 ppl who think we liv in mexio, go bac 2 skwl cuz we r totaly dif places!!!! in pluse i would neva in mi life want 2 b mexican!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Anonymous permalink
      March 30, 2010 1:06 am

      hell yeah yo puerto ricans stand up and allways wear ur flag high

  52. Kandi permalink
    October 30, 2010 4:38 am

    We are in MD….No I am not Puerto Rican however, my significant other is. I have had the pleasure of learning alot about the culture and the foods as well. We are starting a business preparing apetizers and a few main dishes. We have teamed with a local established Italian Pizzeria and are open one day a week for Puerto Rican Cuisine. The grand opening trial will we the first Sunday in November. We have a large number of Puerto Ricans, Dominican and Spanish here but not one Puerto Rican restaurant! It is also hard to find some ingrediants as well but he has been able to improvise. Thank you for allowing me to post and I will say, my kids and I love the food!!

  53. January 7, 2011 5:01 pm

    there is seven of us thats funny becouse to me all puertio ricans are like family. so gather around eat lechon and have a good time

  54. Amarilys permalink
    September 10, 2011 6:23 am

    I loved your blog I’m from Chicago we through a pretty bad parade as well not on NYs level but we still represent. I went to to the one in Cali once when I was out there it was ok. They only had one booth with PR food and it wasnt very good, but the cool part was when a huge group gathered and a bunch of old hibaros started playing the congos and the quattro it was hot. Everyone was dancing and laughung it was a good time. I would love to go to NY for the parade one day though it must be awesome.

  55. shedoporter permalink
    December 11, 2011 8:25 am

    I am sure you will love and get big save to take huge discount

  56. Johnny permalink
    December 11, 2011 2:19 pm

    I’m not even Puerto Rican buy I have lived in Hunacao and know more facts about Borinquen and Spanish than most Puerto Ricans. I am Johnny Blanco, most famous Spanish-speaking White guy in Reading and Harrisburg. I have been married to 4 Puerto Rican women. A true Puerto Rican should know some Yoruba, the language of Nigeria, the true homeland of my daughters’ ancestors. Start giving them some credit, too much value is given to the Tainos. My daughters know all Spanish and about 1,000 Yoruban words. They also teach that they are not Latinas but Caribenas. Viva la Pava!

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