et tu, jayare?
originally posted 1.23.07
There is a patch of green beneath the Hollywood sign called Griffith Park. Its pretty well known, and is frequented by oddballs of every stripe – including a woman I work with (to protect her identity, lets call her “Shellz”). This morning she told me an interesting story about the goings on in Griffith Park that I think the world should be aware of.
Shellz and I were standing in the elevator plaza of our office building engaging in small talk. I asked her how she spent her weekend, and Shellz devolved into a stuttering pile of frothy goo when attempting to describe an event that she observed last Saturday. “This oughta be good,” I thought. Shellz started to break off the details…
There she was, wandering around the park in the middle of the day. Suddenly, Shellz heard a rumbling noise in the distance. The ground beneath her began to quake as the sound drew closer. Over a distant ridge a series of galloping horses appeared. Each horse dragged behind it a fully loaded 300 B.C. edition of a Roman chariot. Each chariot came complete with some dipshit dressed in full Roman soldier regalia at the helm.
Excited and confused, Shellz decided to try and flag down the “Roman Legionnaires” in order to get the scoop about what’s going on. The chariots closed in, and galloped just close enough that she was thrown to the ground by their wake as they sprinted away. Enraged, Shellz found the closest 21st Century observer and probed for information.
Apparently these yokels dress like Roman soldiers and cause a ruckus in Griffith park a few times a week. I was a surprised that Shellz had never seen this happen before, considering that she lives a scant few blocks from the park. Then I remembered the type of chick Shellz is, and her obliviousness became clear…
its quite possible that the roman chariots
were just a hallucination…
A fun fact about Shellz: she is a Pagan. Heaven forbid (a phrase funny on a number of levels at the moment) a pagan be slighted by Roman invaders. Shellz goes on to tell me about the plan concocted by her and her Pagan friends. Apparently they are all going to get together this weekend, paint themselves blue (?), dress in period Pagan attire, and stage a counter-assault on the Roman Legions.
No, she wasn’t kidding.
I was about to object. Didn’t she know how that confrontation turned out the LAST time it happened? But then it dawned on me…I own a video camera. 2 words:
In the immortal words of Homer J. Simpson – “God bless those pagans.” With any luck I will soon have video evidence of this silliness. Sweet Jesus, I love living in L.A. sometimes…
